literature

NaPoWriMo 2017: Week 1

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April 1:

My Queen of Hearts


Brick X Blossom Mad Hatter and Queen of Hearts by kuku88

The Queen of Hearts asked for red roses,
But her servants had planted white.
Out of fear they painted them the desired colour,

For for a queen of red hearts,
Her heart was as black as night.

The heart is fickle, like the Queen,
We make demands that cannot be met—
We ask for things beyond us—

I have asked for love and received none in return...

I have received white roses instead,
When I clearly asked for red.

The heart is truly fickle.
And now mine will fade to gray
Now that it has been handed back to me, bruised and battered,
Loveless and worn—
Fading,
Without the light.

But I will try—I will try to stay happy,
Because even if my roses are white,
And even if my heart was handed back to me,
I can see the red roses lying there on your windowsill,
Where your hearts are entwined by red string.

So despite my envy and my pain,
I will try—I will try to be happy for you,
You who has the red roses,

Because I still love both of you,
Even if I do not receive that love back.

-

April 2:

Discarded


Discarded by kuku88

If I fail
Will you cast me aside?

Like an unwanted china doll
That you outgrew.

Thrown away,
Upon a pile of other china dolls
Just like me.

Delicate porcelain
And glass eyes
Soft silk and lace
Cracked skin
And broken faces

Slowly
Sinking
Slowly

As we rot,
Unwanted
Unneeded

Because we are the broken, 
The cast aside,
The regrettable,
Now limbless and lost.

Forever forgotten,
Remembered only as
Failures.

And I'll lie here
With all of them,
Somehow still all alone
Despite a sea of faces
Just like me.

Unwanted
Unneeded

Lonely.

Now that I am
Discarded.

-

April 3:

When I Loved and Lost


[Mirror Falls AU] A PORTAL Into Your MIND by kuku88

I was young
Small 18
Fell in love
Before I was ready. 

Broke my heart
When he moved on
Still going steady
Still going strong

Living life 
Like I'm open and free
Only to be shackled 
Because I'm still me

Will I find the one
To love
To love me back

Because right now
I'm alone and I'm scared
I'll be alone all my life. 

Was only 18
When I first loved 
And lost. 

It won't matter 
In the end
In the long-run
But the pain it's there

How do you get over someone that you once loved?

They look me in the eyes and say 
"You don't". 

-

April 4:

Flowers for the Lonely


[Mirror Falls AU] I SEE Inside Your HEAD by kuku88

I smiled and said goodbye to the vendor, dropping a nickel in his hand
He smiled back and told me
“She must be very lucky” - some confusion there - “the little lady you're giving this flower to.”
“Oh,” I said, blinking before smiling, realization striking. “Yes, yes; very lucky indeed.”
Indeed
The lucky little lady was
Me.

We give flowers to the beautiful,
We give flowers to the ones we love.
And I am trying
trying to love myself.

To learn that even I
Even I can be
beautiful.

The lucky little lady dances in lace under the pale light of the moon,
Twirling and twirling
Like lemon ice cream swirls
That I can taste on my tongue,
Like snowflakes and starships -
Leaving comet trails to trace across my skin,
Eyes so blue like pearls that drip
Drip from those black holes where the stars go to die,
Forgetting their place in the sky,
Because even the stars must get lonely up there,
When all they can do is spin and spin all alone.

I remember looking
into cracks and broken glass,
trying to find a remnant of myself -
the self that I shattered when I decided to smash
All my mirrors; drop them like I dropped myself.

Because I can't love
I can't love myself.

And when we buy flowers for the beautiful,
We buy them for the ones we love -
And I want to love myself.
I'm learning to love myself.

We give flowers to the beautiful,
Oh yes we give flowers to the ones we love,
But I'm starting to think we should give

Flowers
to the Lonely.

Because when I sit up here atop this hill,
With these flowers in my hand (“he loves me, he loves me not”),
Overlooking my kingdom of nobodies and nothings I think
I think I want to learn to love myself.

I want to give flowers to the beautiful,
To the lonely,
To the ones we love -
And the ones we can learn to love. 

-

April 5:

Sleepless


:Gift: Sleeping in a Flowerbed~ by kuku88

Can't sleep. 

It's like insomnia fills my veins
But maybe it's just me being lazy. 

I'm too lazy
To go to sleep. 

All the lights are on—
I should turn them off. 
I'm going to turn them off. 

I stare up at the ceiling like I'm looking at the stars
Lighting up the night sky
Dangling from my ceiling by little red strings 

I stare up at the ceiling like I see constellations
And faces there 
Things I can trace with my finger
In the dark. 

It's dark out there. 
And it's dark in here. 

It's quiet. 
I can't hear anything but the buzzing sound the air makes in your ear when there's nothing else to hear. 
It's low
Like I'm low
And it's quiet
And I can't hear
I can't hear my thoughts. 

Because they're so LOUD
They drown out everything else
They drown me
And I'm falling through the lights that don't exist in the dark. 

Keep me in the dark. 

Behind closed eyelids I scream. 
I dream of one-eyed men and ghosts who turn your hands into chocolate. 
I dream of nothing. 
I dream of everything. 

The human brain dreams roughly three to four dreams per night
Seven if you're lucky 
(Because seven is a lucky number) 
But you usually only remember one. Or none. 

I wake up
From a dream
And walk
Into a dream. 

Or was it a nightmare?
I can't remember. 

But I can't sleep. 
I'm too tired to sleep. 

I don't live on coffee or caffeine. 
I just live. 
Let the hours tick by while I let my life waste away
As I stare at my phone like it can distract me from that fact. 

The fact that I 
Can't sleep. 

It's too much work to 
Go to sleep. 

Go to sleep. 

Go to sleep. 
Go to sleep. 

Go to sleep—it's 3:00 am. You have work tomorrow; you have school tomorrow; you have LIFE tomorrow—
Go to sleep. 

But I don't want to. 
I'm too tired for sleep. 
I'm too tired for life. 

Go to sleep now, and we'll take it all away. 
We'll take everything away. 

Okay. 

So go to sleep now. 

Okay. 














It's dark now. 
Everything's dark now. 

-

April 6:

Lifeline


Lifeline by kuku88

When the caterpillar asks me
"Who are you?"

I do not have an answer.
I am lost -
I knew the me from good morn,
But I do not know the me I now mourn.

And I do not know
Where to go from here.

I can feel the strings -
They tug back when I am forced to act
Like a puppet onstage.
These red strings of fate
My fate -
They wrap around me
Like a cocoon
As the hands that control me
Push and pull
And I watch as what I know
Begins to fly away from me.

I thought I knew what I wanted:
For I wanted what they wanted.

But now I no longer know.

These hands that hold me
Now feel so cold.

They were my lifeline,
My safety net,
My direction.

West -
But no, now east -

My lifeline pulls me along.

I'm hanging onto my lifeline so tight
It will end up hanging me.

These hands they push and shove
Until an ugly caterpillar
Is forced to transform into
A beautiful butterfly
And they will not recognize their reflection.

"Who am I?"

-

April 7:

For My Mother


Beautiful Maiden by kuku88

MOM

A woman who is independent and strong,
Who can teach right from wrong. 
With a heart that can understand, 
And a mind that can always comprehend. 
Someone full of love and pride,
Someone to whom one can confide. 
Warm eyes that glow,
Her care they always show,
Who brings joy and light,
Whenever they smile so bright. 
A voice that can inspire,
And ignite another's fire,
Someone so strong and bold,
With arms that reach out to hold. 
This is a mother,
And I'd never trade mine for another. 
For she cares for and loves me so,
She's always giving and bringing me up when I feel low. 
So Dear Mother, I just wanted to say
Thank you and I love you and have a great day!

So it's that time of the year again! :heart:
I'll update this deviation as the days go on. I may cheat just a little bit with a few poems because I have them in store. ;P

For days 1-7 for #NaPoWriMo2017!
:iconnapowrimo:
© 2017 - 2024 kuku88
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StarryStarrySky7267's avatar
YOU AWESOME HUMAN BEING YOU ARE GIVING ME THE FEELS